Dear Dr Bliss,
I have a big problem with my little brother. He is a big player and ends up hurting a lot of women, but I don’t seem to be able to get through to him. He has in the past dated a lot of local girls but he has never been nice to them, so he has not been able to get a regular girlfriend. At the moment he is dating a lot of Paddington escorts. Although he does not hurt them physically, he is not nice to them.
I know that a guys who date Paddington escorts are real gents, and are very nice to their favourite escorts. But somehow it seems that my bother can’t even be bothered to be nice to Paddington escorts. They are not serious affections of his, but I still think that he should be nice to the Paddington escorts that he dates.
There are now a lot of angry Paddington escorts do not longer want to see him. As a matter of fact, one of the independent Paddington escorts told a friend of mine that he treated her like something stuck to the bottom of his shoe. As a matter of fact, some Paddington escorts agencies have banned him from dating their girls. They have told him that everyone deserves respect, and that includes Paddington escorts.
Lisa – please help
I can understand how you feel and that it must be difﬁcult to reach through to your brother. Some men do not know how to treat women, and that is a sad fact of life. May I ask you what your parents’ relationship is like or was like? This might have some bearing on your brother’s behaviour. If, your brother has witnessed your father speaking to your mother in a certain way, he may have just made that part of his mind set.
The problem is that we are exposed to so many different things these days, and your brother could have picked up this behaviour from anywhere. He could have seen on TV or experienced it at a friend’s house. This is not normally something someone is born with, we are talking about learned behaviour.
I am going to come straight from the shoulder to you. This is not something that you can talk your brother out of, your brother needs professional help and he can only get this from a psychotherapist. He needs to change his mindset as at the moment he does not understand what he is doing wrong.
I know that you mean well and, honestly, he is lucky to have you as a sister but you need to get him some real help. Finding local groups that deal with mental health issues is a good idea. They may have some suggestions on how you can make him visit a therapist, and they will even be aware of local therapists in the area.
Mental health problems are part and parcel of modern day, and we need to deal with the, But above all dear Lisa, you should not at any time blame yourself for your brother’s problems.